Silence sends a loud message, that once acknowledged, can’t be unheard.

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We can’t be silent. We know this and understand it, but we are also influenced by our experiences and the beliefs we were raised with.

“It’s not smart to talk openly about politics, race, money, or sex.”

As I wrote that I thought about what messages I was raised with and how it impacted me as I learned to change the narrative. My Dad likes to talk about money and because he raised me to comfortably discuss money and finances, I can engage in those conversations without shame. But sex. No. We never talked about sex. In fact when I think about what it means to “talk about sex,” I imagine talking about sexual intercourse and I immediately get all squeamish and hear the voice inside my head yell out “EWWWWW, NO WAY!!”

Come on, now. There are a lot of missing conversations that get ignored because we shut down and freeze when we imagine ourselves talking with our family about sex (or politics, race, and religion).  

Saying nothing says a lot. 

The internet is awesome, yes, but so are one on one conversations with real live people.

That’s what I’m going for here. Let’s talk more.

Race. It’s time to talk about race and racism more. We need to break the cycle that teaches colorblindness and this make-believe story that we are in a post-racial era and it is only a problem when people of color enter the room. White people – racism lives inside of all of us. Having that conversation may not be easy, but it’s time.

The conversations that matter are the conversations we need to be having. The issues that seem too big or too hard, are the issues we need to be talking about.

Because talking about it, forces us to think about what we believe. It gives us an opportunity to understand how other people think. Talking about it, allows us to break free from the rigid perspective which perpetuates the problems that are detrimental to a thriving and healthy community for all people.

Crucial conversations lead to courageous actions.

We won’t stop at the talk. We won’t settle for the progressive, intellectual conversations that make people feel good about themselves. If we are really, truly challenging ourselves and questioning the status quo, we WILL take action based on the conversations we choose to engage in.

Believe in the power of conversation to change minds, hearts, people, lives, systems, communities, and history.

If you have any trepidation about engaging in crucial conversations, I have a guide for you, and it’s easy to download. It will challenge you. It requires practice. It requires forgiveness. It offers teachable moments.

It also promises growth and an opportunity to be better and to do better.

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Planning Crucial Conversations During the Holidays

Happy holidays, from me to you, with love, sparkles, and all the conversations.